As I was heading home from rehearsal today, I began to reflect upon the immediacy of the performance experience. As artists - performers and choreographers - we spend months preparing for a singular moment. In that moment, the community - the dancer and the audience - comes together for a shared, magical experience. If anything goes wrong - a dancer falls, the technical equipment malfunctions - there is no second chance. In that regard, it is no wonder that my heart still races in the moments before I enter the stage space. No one will live or die because of my performance, but I only get one chance. I only have one brief opportunity to communicate with my audience on a kinesthetic level. I only have one brief opportunity to share my story with them. I only have one brief moment of pure honesty and vulnerability.
In performance, I do expect everything to go right. After months of preparation, that one moment should be perfect. But, of course, the human experience is not perfect and technicalities happen.
This too is part of the excitement. The excitement of the unknown. The excitement of taking a risk...
These last few weeks are filled with tension. Last minute details that can only happen at the last minute - things like program order and printing. Things like costume fittings and final performance notes. The excitement and the risk is building. Likewise, the tension and stress is building, too.
I'm trying to enjoy this process. I'm trying to take a few minutes to smile at the tightness of my chest as I realize my work has been an exploration of what I am experiencing.
And although this work has been about communicating the felt sensations of energetic pathways, I realize that on March 26th and 27th the process both continues and ends. Because of this realization, there are times when I take the role of participant-observer, step back, and enjoy being in the moment. The frantic excitement of the moment.
This is what I love. This is why I dance. This immediacy. This vulnerability. This risk.
I look forward to meeting you in the moment.