"I beg you... to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. do not search for the answers, which could not be given you now, because you would not be able to live them. and the point is, to live everything. live the questions now. perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." ~rilke
I love this quote. And I have experienced living my way into the answers. I just need to remember that the questions can be enjoyable, as well.
One of the best reminders I've been given was by a fellow company member. "Keep dancing," she said. Well, what was I doing? Struggling with my body. Not dancing. I was doing the steps, but not dancing.
Kun-Yang has often said, "Let your body do the thinking. Let your mind dance."
And in moments of extreme stress, Justin asks, "what would you do, just for you?"
The answer: I would dance.
In this world where letters after my name or lines to my resume mean that I've qualified for... something... the experience has evaded me. I'm on a quest for joy without having to understand that in my head. My thinking body understands joy. My analytic mind gets frustrated that joy and happiness cannot be quantified. But it can be qualified. And there lies the value. Qualitatively living the questions and the answers and being reminded by the memories of our Indonesia trip that the unknown languages can be translated without words.
So, dear diary... I'm on a quest for joy. An embodied fully present, mind-body-spirit experience of happiness. I want to heal the world with dance. Starting with myself... if only for one day.